Killing desire with desire is a
complex, inner struggle for the speaker in Sir Philip Sidney’s poem, “Thou
Blind Man’s Mark,” which Sidney highlights using purposeful poetic devices. One
of Sidney’s devices is the connotation that his diction choices imply. In the beginning
of the poem, Sidney is quick to criticize desire, calling it a “blind man’s
mark” and a “fool’s self-chosen snare.” These word choices imply that Sidney
believes having desire is a foolish trait, something that will trick and trap
optimists and wistful thinkers. He also uses alliteration to emphasize this point.
For example, he calls desire a “cradle of causeless care” and a “web of will.”
These alliterations give rhythm to the poem and indicate a shift in tone. Even
though in earlier lines, he used words like “scum” and “evils,” implying a
definite negative attitude towards desire, the alliteration brings a
lighthearted shift. Granted, the examples of alliteration still have words that
could imply a negative connotation – a “web of will” sounds like desire will
spin one around in circles and eventually lead him/her nowhere – the overall device
provides a light contrast to Sidney’s dark view of desire.
In fact, in the next line (line 5), he takes a step back from criticizing desire and reveals a personal connection. “Desire, Desire!” he says and indulges in the fact that he also once desired something too intensely. Perhaps, his experience left such a wound on him that he could only summon and exaggerate his negative thoughts about desire. This line is important in the poem because it is the only place where he isn’t attacking desire and shows some empathy. His selection of detail emphasizes that he was once a “blind man” and “fool” too, and the exclamation point is strategically used to show that hint of hopefulness. This is a stark contrast to the last line of the poem, where he says “how to kill desire.”
It’s important to note that throughout the whole poem, Sidney only uses the actual word “desire” in two places, in line 5 and line 14. This choice could also be a result of the author’s hatred for the trait. But when Sidney does use “desire,” he uses different punctuation. The first reference uses an exclamation point, while the second one uses a period. This is a contrast because the first “desire” demonstrates experience, longing, and wistfulness. The word “desire” in the last line is grave, direct, and declaratory. Whatever inner conflict he might have had in line 5, where he acknowledged that he once desired, is diminished by the end because he is so determined for desire within him to cease in existence.
This “desire” of his, however, is again an indication of the poem’s complexity. Sidney desires to never desire again, and this is the contradiction he must live with. Devices such as alliteration, diction choice, tone shift, and punctuation align with Sidney’s complex writing and the speaker’s complex attitude toward desire.
Reflection:
After looking at the other sample essays for this prompt in class and reviewing the score sheet, I would give this essay a 7. It offers a "reasonable analysis" and "effective composition" because I believe it showed understanding and good organization. It went further than just paraphrasing what certain lines mean and addressed the complexity in the prompt. Moreover, it made purposeful "references to the text, and although the analysis is not to par with a 8/9 essay, the writing in this essay made it one step above the 6 essay.
Despite the strengths, however, I think I have to do a better job of identifying and analyzing poetic devices. For example, I could have talked about more about personification and repetition. Although, I mentioned alliteration, I believe I missed the point a little bit since the alliteration in this poem was used to speed up the pace and hit the "insults" with emphasis and smack-talk force. I also failed to mention that this poem was a sonnet.
I am glad though that I was able to talk about the complexity in the poem, which is usually an area of struggle for me. That could be attributed to the fact that the complexity was easily identifiable in the poem and because the prompt specifically asked for it. In future prompts, it may not be as simple, so I want to be prepared for that.
Overall, I'm happy with this essay and score for a first time practice, but now that I have identified my weakness, I want to be proactive about digging deeper into poetic devices/technical poetic terms and hidden complexities.
In fact, in the next line (line 5), he takes a step back from criticizing desire and reveals a personal connection. “Desire, Desire!” he says and indulges in the fact that he also once desired something too intensely. Perhaps, his experience left such a wound on him that he could only summon and exaggerate his negative thoughts about desire. This line is important in the poem because it is the only place where he isn’t attacking desire and shows some empathy. His selection of detail emphasizes that he was once a “blind man” and “fool” too, and the exclamation point is strategically used to show that hint of hopefulness. This is a stark contrast to the last line of the poem, where he says “how to kill desire.”
It’s important to note that throughout the whole poem, Sidney only uses the actual word “desire” in two places, in line 5 and line 14. This choice could also be a result of the author’s hatred for the trait. But when Sidney does use “desire,” he uses different punctuation. The first reference uses an exclamation point, while the second one uses a period. This is a contrast because the first “desire” demonstrates experience, longing, and wistfulness. The word “desire” in the last line is grave, direct, and declaratory. Whatever inner conflict he might have had in line 5, where he acknowledged that he once desired, is diminished by the end because he is so determined for desire within him to cease in existence.
This “desire” of his, however, is again an indication of the poem’s complexity. Sidney desires to never desire again, and this is the contradiction he must live with. Devices such as alliteration, diction choice, tone shift, and punctuation align with Sidney’s complex writing and the speaker’s complex attitude toward desire.
Reflection:
After looking at the other sample essays for this prompt in class and reviewing the score sheet, I would give this essay a 7. It offers a "reasonable analysis" and "effective composition" because I believe it showed understanding and good organization. It went further than just paraphrasing what certain lines mean and addressed the complexity in the prompt. Moreover, it made purposeful "references to the text, and although the analysis is not to par with a 8/9 essay, the writing in this essay made it one step above the 6 essay.
Despite the strengths, however, I think I have to do a better job of identifying and analyzing poetic devices. For example, I could have talked about more about personification and repetition. Although, I mentioned alliteration, I believe I missed the point a little bit since the alliteration in this poem was used to speed up the pace and hit the "insults" with emphasis and smack-talk force. I also failed to mention that this poem was a sonnet.
I am glad though that I was able to talk about the complexity in the poem, which is usually an area of struggle for me. That could be attributed to the fact that the complexity was easily identifiable in the poem and because the prompt specifically asked for it. In future prompts, it may not be as simple, so I want to be prepared for that.
Overall, I'm happy with this essay and score for a first time practice, but now that I have identified my weakness, I want to be proactive about digging deeper into poetic devices/technical poetic terms and hidden complexities.
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